


Love's in you, and in the words I can't express

by ninthdreamie



Series: the squirrel and his dearest acorn [19]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Kissing, Letters, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, this is for nanaday!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninthdreamie/pseuds/ninthdreamie
Summary: It is very chaotic yes, but when has it never been that way with them? He has been experiencing these kinds of celebrations since 2013, he is used to it.Except that it is Jaemin’s special day, and August 13 has always been a very different kind of day for all of them. On this day they go all out because he has always contributed greatly to everyone else’s celebrations, and they all want to give him more than the usual surprises and cake smearing, especially this year.Alternatively: a short fic centered on Jaemin's birthday, in Jeno's perspective.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: the squirrel and his dearest acorn [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050548
Comments: 13
Kudos: 96





	Love's in you, and in the words I can't express

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this supposedly for Jaemin's birthday, and I wrote it on actual #HAPPYJAEMINDAY. I really have nothing to write here, so I hope you all enjoy this fic. Edited but unbetaed because I have no fear. Jaemin best boy!

The clock already says it’s 11:45 in the evening. That means there are fifteen minutes before a new day starts, fifteen minutes before they surprise him with all that they have prepared, and most of all...they’re fifteen minutes away to him turning a year older.

Of course, the rest of their friends are so excited that they really cannot shut up and stay still. Donghyuck is holding the cake and he is very convinced that the volume of his voice will make it fall to the floor. Mark is trying to catch a hyper Chenle, because he is in charge of making sure they’re wearing party hats after all. Jisung is the one in charge of giving the handwritten birthday letters they made, and Renjun is the one in charge of cramming the decorations.

It is very chaotic yes, but when has it never been that way with them? He has been experiencing these kinds of celebrations since 2013, he is used to it.

Except that it is Jaemin’s special day, and August 13 has always been a very different kind of day for all of them. On this day they go all out because he has always contributed greatly to everyone else’s celebrations, and they all want to give him _more_ than the usual surprises and cake smearing, especially this year.

In Chenle’s words, _“We have to make him feel the love he shows us this time.”_

And that’s why Jeno is struggling in a corner of the room, clutching onto a pen and stationery paper provided by Jisung earlier. Thinking about it he can just write his usual message for him every year, they never had a problem about it, but something inside him refuses to settle with that. He wants to do more than write a handwritten letter, wants to say more than what he usually expresses.

But at the back of his mind, he’s scared that everything he wants to tell him will not make sense. Who knows, it may make sense to him but it will just be purely word vomit. Maybe his words will get misinterpreted and Jaemin will not be happy with it. Seriously though, who knows.

“Seven minutes before twelve!” Jisung announces, holding the others’ letters to his chest like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. “Jeno hyung, are you done with your letter?”

_Oh_. He remembers that he’s the only one without a gift, so they all hoped he’d make a letter. The pressure gets to him even more at the reminder, and he swears he’s about to lose his mind. He isn’t sure if it shows in his face, but he does want to scream into space like what Donghyuck is doing right now. “Give me a few minutes.”

“Okay hyung, take your time. _Wait_ you can't, there's five minutes left.”

Jeno is screwed, and cannot really focus anymore. Everyone else is moving around like crazy. Donghyuck’s starting to sing at the top of his lungs and Renjun and Chenle are harmonizing with him, Mark is double checking on everyone _again_ , and Jisung is killing time by doing a moonwalk around the practice room. He can’t cram his letter with this kind of atmosphere.

Nonetheless, he tries his best to block out all the noises. Having no choice because the last thing he wants to be is insincere in his only gift, he writes down what he wants to say, regardless of grammatical errors and him misspelling some words. Jeno writes so fast that his neat penmanship doesn’t show in the stationery paper, and Jisung frowns when he takes a quick glance at it once it’s handed over to him by 11:58 p.m.

When the clock tells them there’s one minute left before Jaemin’s birthday, things get pretty insane. If they were already chaotic and crazy fifteen minutes ago, then they are definitely unhinged now. If anyone else was around, they would think that they’re literal children greatly anticipating New Year’s Day.

Within the remaining minute, Donghyuck almost drops the cake. Renjun’s crammed design of ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAEMIN’ on the wall almost falls off. Jisung screeches at Mark turning off the light without warning, and Chenle is just laughing at everyone. And Jeno is still in the same corner of the room, hoping that his letter for Jaemin makes sense even if he doesn’t remember what he wrote anymore.

Soon enough, the room goes silent. Jeno can’t see anything else in the dark, but he does see Renjun’s face because he scrolls down his phone for a second. On his left he can hear Mark and Donghyuck bickering with their hushed voices; they’re probably talking about their last minute ideas on this year’s birthday surprise.

It’s amazing that they all have so much prepared for him. They have thought about all of this since last month, and it’s nice to see that they really gave a lot of effort for it, considering their tight schedules and they have to be in an award show tomorrow too. It’s amazing that they have so many ideas to make Jaemin happy.

Maybe if he was as creative as all of them, he’d have something great up his sleeve too, but nothing. He has _nothing_ but a rushed and messy handwritten letter.

The door creaks open as soon as he stops thinking of how pathetic he is, and of course, Jaemin is there. He is fixing the position of his cap on his head, calm as ever. “What’s going on?”

And then Jeno hears the deafening greetings, a cue for him to get up and leave the corner he was staying at. Donghyuck makes Chenle light up the candles on the cake, and then they circle around the celebrant, singing him a very off-tune but still fantastic happy birthday.

While all of that is going on, Mark puts on the most special party hat they have on Jaemin with care, and he feels his heart sting. He is at his loveliest right now, with the warm glow of the candles illuminating his beautiful grin. He looks so beautiful that unsurprisingly, Jeno almost gives in to the urge to write twenty more handwritten letters for him. But then he reminds himself that when he gets to actually doing it, he’ll struggle with words again.

Throughout the entire surprise he was spacing out, until the rest of them comically pushed him towards Jeno. He has never opened his arms so quickly, wrapping his arms around an obviously blushing and embarrassed Jaemin. “Okay, we’re done with you. He’s all yours now, Jen.” Renjun utters, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t forget the letters, hyung!” Jisung also hands them the letters, which Jeno wishes he didn’t. He takes that thought back though, when he sees Jaemin’s eyes sparkle upon seeing the colorful papers.

Well, if the letters will make him happy, then that’s fine. He hopes he doesn’t read his, though.

*

Unfortunately, after a lot of kicked puppy stares and pouting from Jaemin that he thought he could stomach, Jeno is left with no choice.

“ _Finally_ , your letter!” Jaemin exclaims as he carefully places Mark’s letter by his side, along with their other friends’. He exaggerates a lot, stretching his neck and shoulder with a shit-eating grin on his face, which Jeno would usually kiss away. “I really wonder what you wrote for me.”

Jeno sighs and buries his face into his hands. He can feel his face burning up against his palm. “Don’t expect too much.”

It’s a good thing that the rest are not here, opting to go to the convenience store near their company to give them time alone. If they were still around to watch him struggle, Jeno would’ve been made fun of, especially by Donghyuck and Chenle who are too aware of how smitten he is about the birthday boy.

“Don’t tell me what to do, it’s my birthday.” Jaemin retorts jokingly, playfully rolling his eyes as he unfolds the paper, eyes as sparkly as earlier. “But seriously though. You know I’ll love whatever nice things you’ll write.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” The paper’s finally unfolded, and Jeno peeks through the gaps between his fingers. He has never felt this embarrassed in a long time. He can’t believe the pen blots are so evident at the back of the paper, oh god.

Adding to that, Jaemin is chuckling at the sight of misspelled words. That only happens for a moment, because as he is reading the letter in silence, he isn’t laughing anymore.

Since Jeno is beginning to think that his biggest fear is coming true, he starts to worry. He should have tried to make pretty sentences that will make his heart hurt, but what’s done is unfortunately done. By then, he braces himself for the worst.

That is, until his hands are no longer on his face, and the first thing he sees is Jaemin’s _glassy_ eyes. It looks like he’s trying to stop his lips from shaking, and Jeno hears all the sirens in his head go off.

“Are you okay—,”

Before he can even finish his question, Jaemin interrupts him by reading the letter. “I never say it out loud, but I want to give you the world. Even more so when it’s your birthday.” Jeno can see that he’s trying to tear his eyes away from his letter, but he fails to. “Unfortunately, I really can’t do just that so tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

Jaemin fails to not let his emotions get to him, so the tears fall from his eyes. This happens every year, they've seen it happen many times, but the tears look heavier when it slides down his cheeks. “And if you don’t want anything, I hope that my presence can be a gift. I hope that I’ll be enough for you, Jaemin.”

Jeno’s eyes widened at the words he didn’t remember writing a while ago. He, who isn’t usually so poetic, was able to write those things? He, who struggles with words when a heavy load of emotions are involved, was able to express what he really feels for him in that letter?

_That can’t be me_ , he thinks to himself.

Silence ensues once he is done reading the letter. Jaemin is already wiping away his tears with the back of his hand, and Jeno is so worried that he can’t bring himself to move.

_Is he taking this well? I really hope he does. If he doesn’t, then that’s on you. You got too serious. The weight of your words are so heavy that he might not be able to—_

“Lee Jeno.” Jaemin interrupts his thoughts after a few minutes, still teary-eyed. The concern in Jeno’s face slowly morphs into fear upon the mention of his full name. “Jeno.”

Naturally, he lets out his trademark confused noise in response. He lets that out for the second time when Jaemin throws himself at him and his back meets the floor, peppering his face with kisses and trapping him in a hug that _can_ break his bones.

Still, Jeno doesn’t do anything about it because firstly, it’s his birthday; secondly, to refuse his overwhelming gestures of affection is a crime; and finally, before he is a member and a coworker, Na Jaemin is the love of his life.

“Lee Jeno, really.” Jaemin leaves a fat kiss on his lips, which makes Jeno unconsciously smile like a fool. “I really, really love you.”

“I love you too.” Jeno responds shyly, managing to circle his arms around his waist.

“You’re more than enough.” Jaemin starts crying again, sniffling as he rests his head on the spot between his neck and shoulder. “You’ll always be more than enough for me, honey.”

Words as cheesy as those will always sound like a lie when it leaves someone else’s mouth, but Jaemin always makes them sound so genuine, and it warms his heart in the best way. Jeno’s elated that he’s able to make him feel that as well.

“I’m glad,” Jeno replies while sitting up, making Jaemin now sit on his lap.

For a moment, they forgot they were in one of the company building’s practice rooms. In the midst of the sweet atmosphere Jaemin closes the distance between their lips, and the supposedly wholesome kiss gets heated. Most of all, they forgot that there were five other people who’ll be back from the convenience store.

So when the rest entered the room to see them making out, of course, Chenle handled the situation gracefully. He throws packs of Jaemin’s favorite childhood candies at the both of them with a straight face, and scoffs when the both of them pull away to stare at them wide-eyed.

“ _I told you guys!_ We should not have left them alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> haha remember in that one wgu fansign when jeno said he'll give himself to jaemin for his birthday if jaemin didn't request him to buy a gift? hahahahaihatethemhahahahhaha


End file.
